Communication 28
Translation YB: But that all do keep silent? Personally in me this note caused the storm of emotions… Give let us have a talk. А что все молчат ? Лично у меня эта заметка вызвала бурю эмоций… Давайте поговорим.
My dear Травиан,
What is the difference of ‘keeping silent’ and ‘knowing Silence’?
Naturally, you would have a storm of emotions if you misunderstood to think ‘I’ was suggesting that you keep silent. . . You ‘think’ you have something to say . . . you want to say it . . . and keeping silent is the last advice you want from anyone . . . you want to shout out all the inconsistencies you are experiencing . . . you hear all the lies . . . you feel them pulsating through the emotions . . . keeping silent is not an option for you . . . ‘I’ hear you . . . you are shouting loud and clear.
But . . . please, Understand . . . ‘I’ have not asked that you remain silent. ‘I’ have only suggested that you Know Silence. The essence of these two things ‘remaining silent’ and ‘Knowing Silence’ are diametrically opposed. There is a grand difference. But . . . you did not (have not as yet) experienced this difference. Hence the bubbling froth of emotions you experienced spilling into your ire when the thought entered into your processor (brain) at the mere suggestion that you remain silent.
Have a scream. Allow the steam. But do not sicken yourself with any extended relationship with ‘thinks’ about the misunderstanding.
Patience . . . please. ‘I’ have only so much time to spend at present. But ‘I’ have heard you: a button has been pushed. ‘I’ will attempt at answer but will not guarantee the experiencing of ‘answered’.
There was a ‘time’ that ‘I’ would have undergone the same experiencing of emotions with which you so succinctly described if ‘I’ would have thought anyone else was suggesting that ‘I’ remain silent.
‘I’ would have certainly thought them crazy in their suggestions to have me silenced. These people . . . they don’t know ‘me’!!!
They would tell me: “Think what you want, but just don’t say anything. You’ll get in trouble. Just keep silent, and all will be well.”
But . . . things were not well when ‘me’ kept silent, because then the noise in ‘my head’ would start screaming. ‘Me’ could not comprehend what people were accepting as truths. ‘Me’ could not understand why they were not as infuriated as ‘me’ had become when confronted with all the nonsense . . .
And . . . things would not go well when ‘me’ opened up my mouth and spewed all the thought (turned venom) about the ‘ills-of-that’ or the ‘ills -of-this’. . .
And . . . often times, because ‘me’ was the only one who could be heard . . . ‘me’ was the only one who would be targeted by those who did not feel obligated to hear what ‘me’ had to say (even though they felt it requisite that ‘me’ hear what they had to say).
‘Me’ encountered a scourge of opposition and suffered through horrendous experiences that ‘I’ would not wish upon a single soul.
Then one day (after many years of searching and undergoing seemingly endless lifetimes), ‘I’ met ‘the-me’ . . . and things started changing.
Once ‘I’ fully understood the difference between ‘a-me-thinking-it-was- seeing’ and ‘Seeing’ one could say ‘the fog lifted’, the veils parted, and Life started appearing like ‘I’ had never experienced before . . . or had ‘I’ simply forgotten).
Before this precious moment ‘I’ wasn’t there as much as ‘me’ was ever present.
‘Me’ the savior, ‘Me’ the righteous, ‘Me’ the know-it-all, ‘Me’ the outspoken, ‘Me’ the crucified, ‘Me’ the justified, ‘Me’ …. ‘Me’ … ‘Me’ the ego …thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking . . .
‘I’ lived in a madhouse with a ‘me’ that was caught up in a whirlwind of incessant thinking how to improve upon this, how to correct that . . . thinking, thinking, how things could be better, how things were not right . . . thinking, thinking, thinking, what someone meant be this, what someone meant by that . . . thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking, about the end resolve of meeting her set of expectations or his set of demands . . . thinking, thinking, thinking . . .
Every thought that passing over, ‘me’ had to possess. ‘Me’ was greedy. ‘Me’ wanted to own it all. ‘Me’ was self-possessed. ‘Me’ was a subtle obession of ultimate want, desire, and power. ‘Me’ wanted to own the truth.
And then . . . (as aforementioned) ‘me’ started to dissolve like a fizz tablet in water, and all the conditions that ‘me’ placed onto the manifest realm of experiencing gradually began melting away.
And . . . ‘I’ (the ocean) came into focus. And . . . the whole occured . . .
So . . . my readers will write “author is incomprehensible” or “author’s timing is off” or the “author needs to refine” or the “author’s style is good” or the “author makes my blood boil” . . .
And to reply . . . thank-you . . . but understand . . .
‘I’ simply share that which passes over (none of which belongs to ‘a-me’ . . . and then make room for Silence.
